五一搞笑说说夫妻互损笑话
丈夫在电话里告诉妻子：“我们家的门被小偷撬了。”妻子急问：“钱和存折丢了吗？”丈夫说：“没有。”妻子说：“不会吧？”丈夫说：“我找了十年都找不到，小偷这么一会儿工夫就能找到吗？”
妻子：“哎，快到站了，有零钱吗？”丈夫大惑不解：“你忘性真大。自打和你认识起，我口袋里就从来没有整张的！”
“老爸，世界很多矛盾吗？”“这个当然了。就比如说你老妈，一生只专注两件事，吃饭与减肥。”
小梅嚷着要学芭蕾舞，老师说：很辛苦的！小梅说：“没问题，我有跳舞的基因在。”老师纳闷，小梅自豪的说：“我妈妈对我说，我爸每天晚上深夜回家，都会踮着脚尖走路。”
老婆在照镜子时自夸地对正在喝汤的老公say”:”你看我，多像一个未曾嫁人的大姑娘！”老公看了看老婆，然后用手一指碗里的汤say”:”你看这汤，多像一碗纯净水……”
晚上下班回到家，我拿出计算器正在算着当月的各项费用，老婆坐在对面又唠叨开了，一会儿say”:”这个月电费多了，一会儿say”:”这个月水费超了，一会儿又say”:全家人一定要节约。
终于唠叨完ed，不忘推我一把, 提醒道:”听见没有，我刚才讲ed那么多, 总之是……”
老婆猛一推, 我一下子按错ed计算器的键, 只听一个响亮电子女中音接着saying:”等于零.”气得old wife七窍生烟, 怒视着me.
In one side doing homework's boy early already smile bend waist.
7、One day K song back home , old man drunk , heard say drunken people will tell truth.
So ask : " If have money later?"
Old man : " Want to marry five wives!"
I angry : " Why not learn from Wei Xiaobao marry seven come back?"
Old man dazedly said : " Too tired , need double rest!"
8., Old man : " I strongly request give me increase pocket money now oil rise , price of everything rise but my pocket money no rise this is unfair you must give me raise something."
Old woman : " Okay I love you more."
9., Old woman asked after dinner why he didn't eat any meat? Husband replied that he was trying to lose weight too.
Old woman then asked if she could join him in his diet and husband agreed.
After a few days the husband found himself losing weight at an alarming rate and decided to go back to eating meat for breakfast lunch and dinner while wife continued with her diet plan.
10., Wife says when we get married we should live together forever or so?
Husband replies that they would rather die than live together forever because their quarrels are endless like this couple who lived together for 50 years were still arguing over who left the TV on last night.
11., One day while walking down the street with his girlfriend he saw an old lady struggling to carry her groceries up the stairs so without hesitation he rushed over and helped her carry them upstairs before returning down again only to find his girlfriend gone missing!
He frantically searched everywhere but couldn't find her anywhere until finally finding her sitting on a bench laughing away at him saying 'If you really loved me you would've carried all those bags yourself!'
12., The husband was having a bad hair day so his wife suggested they go out for a haircut but as soon as they got there she realized she had forgotten her wallet at home!
She begged him not leave without taking care of it first but in desperation decided to call another guy friend who promised help pay for hers cut if she went out with him later tonight which made both men fight each other by throwing water balloons!
13., After getting married many couples start noticing some changes in their partner such as talking louder or snoring more loudly etc... But none were quite like this couple where every single thing changed including their voices skin color hair length height even eye color after just one year of marriage!
14., The two friends were discussing how much easier life was after getting married when suddenly one friend let slip that he hadn't been paying alimony yet leading his ex-wife into rage mode causing chaos throughout entire city block!
