七夕之际夫妻间的搞笑与伤感交织成对偶甜言蜜语中藏着深情笑声中带着泪水
1.一对夫妻，过日子既节俭又精打细算，卫生间里的纸张每次只用几段。一天丈夫神秘地对妻子说：“便秘就好，省下了不少纸张。”2.女领导与老公散步时路遇旧相好，他们热烈拥抱。老公有些不满，问是何人，妻子答：“以前我工作中的一个积极分子。”3.老公从不洗衣服，但这周他却起了个大早，为妻子的衣服洗澡。妻子正在纳闷，就听老公含泪说：“我说过好心有好报吧，这下月的零花钱多出来了。”4.男的对女友说：“昨晚我梦到你，还在你的心里盖了一座属于我们的小屋。”女友感动，说：“不过你盖的那小屋违建哦！”5.女儿告诉男友她要和他分手，他问为什么，她回答：“因为你没有智商，没有勇气!”男友反驳，“上次我们划船，我跳水救你的，不是吗？”6.一晚，一对夫妻准备事务时，突然听到wife放屁影响了husband的情绪。husband停止行动，对wife问道：“听到炮声，你以为有埋伏，我改变作战计划。”
7.女孩指着报纸告诉男友捐精可得300元补助。他紧张询问她的想法，她笑着说如果他受得住的话，她想年内买套房。
8.店里等待old lady试衣30分钟后，只穿试了五件衣服。when she comes out again, old man looks her up and down and says, "This one fits you well, let's buy this one." The wife is furious saying they left the house in this very outfit.
9.A guy tells his girlfriend he's just a temporary guest in her life after an argument, but she responds calmly that even a guest deserves to be treated with respect.
10.The husband thinks about how he shouldn't argue with his wife like a common person, especially since it's his own wife who's angry at him.
He apologizes to her and the tension defuses as others put away their weapons or tools.
11.Girlfriend gets on the scale and it suddenly jumps to 130 pounds.
She tells him not to move as she checks the display again, telling him to stay away from her.
He replies that he already is far away before realizing she wants him to move his shadow too.
12.Wife reveals that no one has ever chased after her before - only him who dares to love so boldly.
13.After years of marriage, husband turns over in bed tightly embracing wife saying: This life (blanket) is too short!
Wife wakes up tearfully upon hearing these words from her husband who then adds: I can't even reach my feet!
